Vonetta Christian is the creator of infant, toddler and mommy T-shirt company Wordsies (www.wordsies.com) and Trendy Trackers (www.trendytrackers.com), which sells stylish and hip shoes designed for adults but made for babies. Vonetta lives in Maryland with her husband and three sons, ages 11, 7 and 8 months. Here’s what she has to say:
 “As moms, we can easily answer the question “What do moms know best?” and we could sum it up in one word: everything! I could write pages about how perfect my mom is now and was when I was a child. However, when it comes to dads, the answer may vary greatly from person to person.
Growing up, I had always been daddy’s little girl. Now that I am an adult with a husband and three sons, at times, I still rely on my dad’s love and approval. When I have good news or bad news, I often catch myself calling my dad before I call my husband. There is a special bond between a father and his daughter, and I am blessed to have such a bond.
I turn to my father because he is the best at providing advice. He listens to me, and he doesn’t judge. Many others seek advice from my father as well, such as his co-workers, extended family and friends. He is always rational and never emotional. As a woman, I tend to think with my emotions, sometimes not considering every angle. I remember a time when I became really upset about my job, and I called my dad to get his opinion about whether or not I should quit. Although my dad gives great nonbiased advice, he can also take a long time providing his opinion. When I called him that night in frustrated tears and asked him if I should go to the office the next day and quit, he said he would evaluate the situation and call me back with his advice. Well, that advice came two weeks later—and I had already put in my two weeks’ notice! For the most part, my dad would usually advise me the same day. In fact, that time was just an isolated incident, but it showed me that my dad put many pensive hours into counseling me on a potentially life-changing situation.
Sure, I can say that fathers are the greatest at grilling ribs, fixing cars or keeping the lawns in pristine condition, but my father is the best at more important things. My dad taught me how to behave as a lady, how to take care of myself and, most importantly, how a woman should be treated. A father’s love is important, and because of my father’s love, I know that anything is possible and achievable. I know that I deserve the best, because my father has always been the best.
To the new fathers and the already-established fathers, it is important to know that your little daughters and sons look up to you as their heroes. Aim to earn respect and learn how to give it. You might just end up developing the bond that so many others crave.” |
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Kate Atkinson is the founder of Mamaisms (www.mamaismsgear.com), a socially conscious, wisdom-touting T-shirt company run by four  moms. Here’s what this Rockville, Md., mother of one has to say:
“I put the question right to the man himself. True to form, his answer was short, sweet and to the point: ‘For me, the most important thing about being a dad is being there for my son—whenever and however he needs me.’
OK, so I did get him to expound a bit more…
He explained that being there is a very broad statement that can be underscored in a number of ways, but essentially what he means is that he wants to be there not just physically as a presence but in heart and spirit—to be an active, engaged, integral part of Sam’s life. This is especially poignant for him because his father was not an integral part of his life. Without going into detail, it should suffice to say that his father was an abusive alcoholic.
It’s hard enough to take on the responsibility of being a parent under the best of circumstances. But when you’re facing that enormity without having had a solid model yourself, it can be terrifying. Growing up in rural Alabama, Joe would spend time with friends and their families and see an entirely different relationship dynamic than what he lived every day in his own home. He sought guidance and mentoring from coaches and teachers—and swore his kids’ lives would be different.
Joe’s commitment to his role as Sam’s father was something he fully embraced. That’s not to say that he is a perfect father, nor am I a perfect mother. You see, we separated when Sam was just 6 months old. We eventually divorced and the road to co-parenting was a rocky one. We both made mistakes along the way, but our mutual commitment to Sam was unshakable. We have since found our way back to each other again. I can’t tell you how fantastic it is for us to be an intact family. Now on a daily basis, I get to observe firsthand the relationship that exists and continues to grow and shift between father and son. There is such adoration between them.
I could not ask for a better father for my son. The answers to life’s questions, and certainly a 7-year-old boy’s, are not always simple—not in the way we saw them resolved in a 30-minute TV show growing up. How wonderful to have a father who may not always have the answer to every question, but one who will shepherd his son while he finds his own answers. So what does my son’s father know best? He knows the value of giving of himself and just how important that is in his son’s life.”
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Jennifer Chavez-Hartman works full-time for the innovative and eco-friendly public relations firm The Fresh Ideas Group (www.freshideasgroup.com). Jen thinks that dads don’t get enough recognition for their insight and hard work within the family fold. Here’s what else this Longmont, Colo., mother of two has to say:
 “Good dads rule. My husband and I live somewhat unconventionally, as I work full-time in public relations while he stays at home during the week caring for our two children: Charlotte, 4, and Elijah, 10 months. Watching him foster their little spirits while keeping them healthy, safe and warm is a thing of genuine beauty.
There’s a long list of things I think Ben knows best. They run the gamut from silly to serious. I learn from him every day, but here are the top-of-mind lessons.
The Fun Stuff:
Blanket forts make great projects for the dreaded 4 p.m. hour.
If blanket forts don’t work at 4 p.m., early bathtime will.
Cooking with children is messy and time-consuming but very rewarding when you’re patient and present in the process.
Occasionally, it’s fun for kids to eat Fruity Pebbles for dinner.
Daughters are great at painting nails. Remember to enjoy watching her concentrate so hard that she sticks out her tongue with each polish stroke.
Tea parties are cool and even cooler if you pretend you’re a princess, too, in between sips.
The More Serious Stuff:
When it comes to discipline, you, the grown-up, better be certain that you’re ready to suffer the same consequences you lay out for your child. (For example, be prepared to leave the restaurant and sit in the car during that all-important ‘turn-it-around’ phase. Note: This will always happen just as the food arrives.)
No matter how many books you read on the subjects, the truth is, pregnancy and parenthood don’t come with a compass and they aren’t one size fits all. The sooner you give up the dream of being the perfect, doctor-approved parent and simply love your own experience and children, the better parent you’ll be.
Probably the most valuable lesson I’ve learned from my husband is that children learn how to love life and themselves by watching their parents. As parents, if we focus on superficial things, our kids will learn to make superficial things a priority. If we focus on our flaws or the flaws in others, our children will follow suit. On the contrary, if we honor and love the imperfect people that we are and our life as is, our children will act in kind.” |
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