 Dr. Randine Lewis, author of The Infertility Cure and The Way of the Fertile Soul, is the founder of The Fertile Soul (www.thefertilesoul.com), a natural Chinese medicine based body, mind and spirit program to overcome infertility. Here's what this Asheville, North Carolina mother of three, ages 25, 13 and nine, has to say:
“My children manifested with some difficulty, commonly known as infertility. They arrived through much work on my own body, mind and spirit—and with a heavy dose of learning to let go. When I think of my fierce desire to have a child that belonged to me, I am reminded of Kahlil Gibran’s quote, 'Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.'
My youngest son, Lars, required the most diligence and the most surrender. At nine-years-old he is a lot more spirited than his teacher or principal would like. They have strongly encouraged a clinical diagnosis and medication—and I have refused. I just can’t casually medicate my child for the convenience of his school. My journey through infertility began to stifle my spirit and led me to reject pharmaceuticals as the first remedy; and here I sit again—defying convention, researching alternatives, ready to step up to the challenges of how to nurture a spirit filled life. So, when I worry that he may be kicked out of his private school because he doesn’t fit into the typical mold, I remember that my job as his mother is to get out of the way and see him for who he is, not how I might prefer him to be. There are many other schools to choose from, but there is only one spirit to be tended to right here, right now, when it matters most. It gives me strength to recall that Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein didn’t fit into the conventional school mold so well, either. Thus, in the midst of my busy life, I tend to Lars’ spirit first. When it would be a tad easier if he’d play video games so I can finish my writing, we make sure he plays outside instead. We read the Chronicles of Narnia and Tom Sawyer instead of watching television. Every evening he gets a dose of melatonin, homeopathics and acupuncture to get to sleep. In the morning, he takes deep sea fish oil, vitamin B6, Yerba Mate tea and neurotransmitter precursors to help him focus during the day. And after weeks of holding my breath, yet again, my child reveals the miraculous: his schoolwork is getting done, and his spirit soars, intact.
Lars continually teaches me how to be his mother—the mother that he needs, and not the mother people say I should be. He shows me how my perceptions need to shift to see him for who he really is in his world, not who I would have him be in mine. As I learn to embrace what is, this spirited young man responds in kind. He’s growing up in a different world than I did. The rules have changed, and I must change with them in order to even get a glimpse of the world of tomorrow.” |
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Audrey Linn Lozares is a former teacher living in Atherton, California. Here's what this new mom has to say:
“My four-month-old son, Asher, has taught me to adapt. As a former educator, I had numerous preconceived notions on what type of parent I was—and was not—going to be. Now, day by day, I am evolving into the best mother for my son and his needs. I said that I was never going to give my baby a pacifier, nor allow him to sleep in our bed. Now that my "velcro baby" suffers from acid reflux, he uses a pacifier to sooth himself to sleep and wedges right in between my husband and myself in bed. So he has taught me that I need to do what is best for him even though at times it goes against what I had envisioned. No matter how many sleep books I read and how many theories I have implemented, he does not sleep through the night. Currently I am adapting to sleep deprivation...”
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 Jennifer Wolfe has three children: Dahlia, age seven, Marli, age four, and Sammy, age eight months. She's also the president and co-founder of DaRiMi Kidz (www.darimikidz.com). Here's what this Northern California mom has to say:
“The most important lesson that I have learned from my children recently is to reopen my eyes to the wonders of nature. As we get older, we often become too busy, particularly as working mothers, to take the time to see all the amazing things that are happening around us. Recently, when my seven-year-old second grader came home very buzzed about the lifecycle of a monarch butterfly and told me in incredible detail about every stage of their transformation from a caterpillar into a butterfly, it made me stop and realize how dulled my senses had become to such natural marvels. I find that since then, I try to look at the world through their little eyes and get back in touch with that sense of wonderment and awe that we all had as children. This has meant stopping to look at the bluejays and hummingbirds outside our window when trying to juggle dinnertime and the ever-present Blackberry is buzzing with emails. It has also helped me to focus on how important it is to preserve our planet in a healthy and sustainable way. I think we would all be better caretakers of our planet if we could learn this from our children.” |
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